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I, Barack Obama, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, hereby proclaim the day of June 6, 2009, as National Day of Slayer

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WHEREAS, Hessians are a legitimate elective culture that should be recognized with their own national day of celebration and

WHEREAS, Slayer is freaking awesome and one of the most influential metal bands in history and

WHEREAS, The theme of the National Day of Slayer is "Don't go to work, listen to Slayer," which reflects the imminent importance of Slayer in the lives of hessians across America and

NOW, THEREFORE I, Barack Obama, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, hereby proclaim the day of June 6, 2009, as National Day of Slayer, saluting the valuable artistic contributions of the band Slayer and the legitimacy of the hessian culture that supports them. And I call upon all Americans to listen to Slayer on this day and every day hereafter.