April 30, 2009

Why Do Some Men Do This?

A conversation with a spectacular lady friend last night got me thinking. As women who love music, are passionate about the subject, collect records, and have a decent working knowledge of music, we still find ourselves in the position where the occasional (more often than we care to admit) man we meet finds a way to insult us as not just women but as music fans.

I don’t know why this is but there are many dudes out there (my male friends excluded because they have NEVER made me feel this way) who seem to think they A) know everything there is to know about music B) owe it to the women in their lives to school us helpless females on “good” music or C) and this is the worse of the bunch, look at us in awe, like a baby taking their first steps when we – we being woman they are talking to- already know about whatever “obscure” band they are trying to impress us by name dropping. And FYI …more often than not we know more about the band than they do.

The fact that I inevitably own more music then these fellow record obsessed types is just a side bar to my eye rolling boredom and annoyance with these personality types.

I don’t understand why there are men out there who think the women they meet are lost sheep in need of a musical shepherd. Not only do we not need your lame insight thank you very much but we mock your pathetic ways when one awesome lady music fan meets up with another.

In hindsight this topic made me realize why I love working in a record store so much. It is the one place that I as a female record nerd am treated with respect. The simple positioning of me behind a counter at a killer music retailer guarantees the respect I often don’t get when I am at a bar or a show.

This is just another reason why I love record stores AND my friends who share my passion for music in a way that is never demeaning. I salute each and every one of you for this. You have no idea how much it means to me and the other fabulous ladies in your lives.


  1. i am totally C.

  2. Mr. Baconfat - admission is the first step to curing you of that bad habit. And in fairness you never look at me that way, ha!

  3. Do you ladies think that music snob 'doodz' only give women their holier than thou attitude? Oh no, that is not reserved for you alone. Their need to impress and belittle others is fully bi-sexual. They may have a special brand of snobbery with gals since their scene is generally a sausage fest, but it doesn't stop when there are no women present. I can certainly imagine that they do the A-B-C's listed in this post, and it must be very frustrating to deal with.

    I wanted to believe that I had never engaged in this type of activity, since I frown heavily upon it. I thought that I was in the clear until I remembered the time I made TKW come to a Meatmen show with me. Oops!

  4. I hear real men hang to the right or wait ....is it the left?

  5. Well, I've been getting the bulk of my music education from you, TKW, since you were 17, so big respect to you from Jersey!

  6. TKW - EXACTLY! It was to the left. And to be honest, I still have no idea either.

  7. I've been really getting into garage rock recently. Have you heard of the Blueberry Alarm Clock?